Sexy at 50

Whether you are a beginner to sex toys or have been using erotic accessories for many years your 50’s can be the start of a satisfying journey of self-discovery and sexual experience to promote that youthful glow that can’t be bottled and sold to you over the beauty counter.

It is natural that our sexual preferences change at different points in our life and indeed our bodies, but this doesn’t have to mean that our days of sexual experimentation are over. As we age, our bodies' hormones change, which in turn affects everything from the amount of sleep we need and our eating habits to our sexual response and sensitivity. At the point of menopause, decreased oestrogen levels can lead to decreased sexual response and decreased libido. As a result, some women experience less lubrication and need longer reaching orgasm. Some women find that even when they do reach orgasm, it is not as intense or prolonged as it was when they were younger. This isn’t always the case though, some lucky ladies changing cocktail of hormones can result in increased libido and more frequent, intense orgasms.

It is important as a couple to ensure that sex is made part of your regular routine. Unfortunately neglecting a time for sex play together is bad news for your libido as the more sexual activity you enjoy the more you want. Couples that make regular sex a part of their routine, find that their desire and sexual response improve, fitness levels increase and stress levels decrease. Don’t expect a blow your socks off sex session all the time, instead adopt regular sensual time together involving oral sex, intercourse and mutual masturbation.

Couples sex toys can be a great way of introducing variation to your routine and enabling climax for you both. Equally important for libido is the interest in self-pleasure in which masturbation can contribute to improved levels of desire and increased understanding of how to attain climax even if you feel that your sexual response has changed. Masturbation helps keep vaginal tissues moist and elastic and boosts hormone levels, which fuels sex drive. For men, it helps maintain erectile response so mutual masturbation could become part of your fitness routine! Vibrators and clitoral massagers can become essential if genital sensitivity has decreased and orgasm takes a little extra effort. If you are no stranger to sex toys and your usual erotic accessories don’t appear to be hitting the spot in the same way, consider investing in toys with increased vibration level or functions that provide a higher level of stimulation.

FAQ’s (actual questions we have been asked by our 50 + customers)

I have been using rabbit vibrators for years and can’t find one with ‘bunny ears’ to satisfy me anymore

Sometimes a change in hormonal pattern can lead to decreased sensitivity in the clitoris. As many women rely on the clitoral stimulation of rabbit vibrators to achieve orgasm it is essential to address this ensuring satisfaction from this sex toy. We recommended a pearlescent rabbit to this lady as it has a powerful vibration level to the ‘rabbit ears’ with a more solid feeling material. The key is not only to choose a powerful toy but also to avoid a rabbit vibrator with soft ‘jelly’ ears as they do not allow for adequate pressure to be applied to the clitoris if sensitivity has decreased. A solid material will allow a firmer clitoral rub and allow the vibrations to travel to a single spot rather than be dispersed along the length of the clitoris.

During oral sex or masturbation the pleasurable sensation in my clitoris is not as strong.

Vibration could be the answer in both cases as a bullet vibrator delivers strong sensation during masturbation and oral sex can be teamed with a clitoral vibrator simultaneously or a tongue vibrator such as tongue joy can provide the extra kick needed. Alternatively a sexual enhancer can increase blood flow and heighten sensitivity if applied before sexual activity. Female orgasm cream is safe to use and can become a useful bedroom accessory for improving sensation.

My husband can’t maintain an erection for as long during intercourse

A cock ring can be a useful addition to sexual routine. Either choose a simple ring which is fitted at the base of the penis, restricting blood flow away, helping to maintain erection or use a vibrating cock ring which also provides clitoral stimulation during sex, a useful function for a couple at any stage in their sex lives.

My vagina becomes very dry during sex which causes burning and discomfort.

Decreased oestrogen levels can contribute to less natural lubrication for some women. It’s not uncommon for this to occur after childbirth and at various times of the monthly cycle so keeping a supply of good sex lubricant can be imperative for a woman. A water based lube is sufficient for sex toys, intercourse and masturbation, apply a generous amount to reduce friction and ensure comfort during penetration. A combined massage/lubricant such as Durex Play can be incorporated into foreplay with sensual massage as a pre-cursor to sexual contact. If you find that lubricant causes irritation or thrush then stick to a top grade lubricant manufacturer such as Sliquid or choose an organic lubricant that will kinder to your sensitivities.

I don’t feel the same way about my body as I used to and it makes me feel insecure in the bedroom.

The key to sexiness is confidence and that comes from the inside, it has nothing to do with a 21 year old body or boobs that point to the sky. Experience is also sexy and let me tell you a woman in her fifties has much to offer. If you want to make the best of your body and boost your inner confidence try dressing for sex. Sexy outfits are good confidence boosters in the bedroom and make you feel instantly sexy. Learn to relax by setting a sensual scene for your lovemaking. Use lighting, massage oil and boudoir accessories to create an ambience of erotic ease. Take your time and enjoy the smooth touch of soft skin and evocative smells as well as visual stimulus.
Your sexuality need not suffer as you age. Stay dedicated to your sex life and you might find that it only improves as time passes by. Remember to communicate with your partner, keep fit and healthy, set-aside quality time for sex and have reasonable expectations of yourself. There is no such thing as too old for great sex — sexuality is a natural, healthy part of being an adult, regardless of age, enjoy!